saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
