I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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what is it with giant penises always finding me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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