I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
