So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
