I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
