Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
