like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
