She said her name was "party"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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