my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
