John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
