He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He shit in the fireplace
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
