If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
