I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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