Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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