something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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