but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there's paper in my vomit.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
