She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
