I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
