Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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