Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize