Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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