did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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