was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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