so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
