Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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