I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
