i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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