why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
