Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
