I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
