i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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