So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
