A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
