We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
