tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
