I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
