We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
