told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
