Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
How naked do you want me to be?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
