you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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