i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
