Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize