worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
