Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have so many feelings about this burrito
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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