so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
