She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
