I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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