you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
