does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
