oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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