he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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