he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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