she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
