absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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