I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
