So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Randomize
