I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
