It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i barfeds in our rink
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
