I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
