i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
