This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Damn victory sex feels great
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
