guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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