i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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