Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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